Perspective. Perspective is a particular attitude or a way of looking at something; a point of view. My attitude and general view on things and what I want out of life has changed drastically the last few years but in particular the last six months. I’ve gained a hard learned, new perspective on life and pretty much everything around me, literally. I am learning to be content in the present and appreciating where we are in life with what we have. Cliche? Hell yes! But it’s made me a better and happier person and I love it!
Earlier this year, I mentioned that my word for 2017 is simplify. My idea on simplifying my life -our life, includes learning how to live with less, less stuff and more of life itself. For me personally, learning to let go of things is one of the easier things to do, it’s then learning to live with what’s left that’s been a real struggle for me. #thestruggleisreal For real!!
The entire time we’ve owned this little townhouse of ours, I have always lived with what seems like one foot out the door. I was always ready to get out of our house and onto something “better”, becasue by comparison to others, what we had didn’t fit what I thought was good enough. I was consumed by the idea that there surely was something better out there and where we were and what we owned wasn’t enough. I kept comparing what others had to what I didn’t and it made me terribly bitter inside. I know, shallow or what?! Wow, so embarrassing…. We had always talked/dreamt about the possibility of moving and buying a house with that dream kitchen of mine, or even just something with a bit more square footage – anything that was an “upgrade” really. Up until last year, in my mind this house was a stepping stone to my something “better”. That was until I decided enough was enough! I said screw it, I don’t want a huge house with 5 bedrooms, 3.5 baths and a mortgage that I’ll be working to pay off for the rest of my life. Nope. I don’t want it and I most definitely don’t need it!! I’ve learned to see that our humble 3 bedroom, 1.5 bath townhouse is more than plenty. Through some crazy experiences and a hard learned change in perspective I’ve wholeheartedly committed to this humble townhouse we call home.
If this is normal, I don’t want it.
“Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work,
driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for,
in order to get a job that you need
so you can pay for the clothes, car and the house
that you leave empty all day
in order to afford to live in it”
– Ellen Goodman
To say that our lives have changed these last several years is an understatement. And again, cliche as it may sound, we’ve come out on top of it all and learned to make the most of it. It’s helped change not only my perspective but also my appreciation for not only life itself, but even the material things we do own. So what if our second hand living room couch is still with us after 12 years. We bought it then out of mere necessity and it just hasn’t become an absolute top priority to replace it. So what?!?! Yes, our one TV in the house is teeny tiny and an original to when the new flatter style first came out. So what if everything isn’t top of the line or even brand new for that matter. It is so hard to not get caught up in having the latest and greatest but it is oh so fricken freeing though when you just throw your hands up and say fuck it!! I am so done with being tied to this “norm” that each and every person has to own/do X, Y and Z of this one caliber in order to be or feel accepted by society. Don’t get me wrong though, I definitely appreciate owning fine things and I love when I can upgrade to something newer/better. I’m just saying that I now realize that it’s not the be all, end all. For me, it just means that there’s so much more to life than the constant rat race I feel like we all get caught up in. I want to work so I can live life to the fullest, not live to just work.
These thoughts and ramblings have been rumbling around in my head for some time and they finally had to spew out in hopes of keeping it real. I hope in trying to get it all out there that it makes some sense. It’s been liberating discovering these things and realizing what truly makes me happy.